Best responses to some of the stupid things people say to pregnant women.

I have a two-month-old baby boy. He's my third baby, so I know a little bit about the woes of pregnancy. I've heard some people enjoy being pregnant. Personally I wasn't too fond of it. Not only  was I a hormonal, sleep deprived, exhausted, uncomfortable emotional wreck, some people just did and said things that were completely insensitive and unnecisary! Luckily I've got some of the best responses to some of the things people liked to do and say...

Stupid person: Better sleep while you can! You'll never get any sleep once that baby gets here.
Best Response: Good idea! Think my boss will let me leave work early so I can get a nap?

Stupid person: Are you sure there's only one in there?
Best Response: Actually, I'm having 8. I'm trying to get TLC to hook me up with my own reality show.

Stupid Person: You're so lucky that you can eat anything you want when you're pregnant.
Best Response: I know, right?!? I don't even have to force myself to throw it up later! The baby will make sure I throw it up in the morning!

Stupid Person: Looks like your having a really big baby!
Best Response: Well, they say obesity starts when they are young.

Stupid Person: I can tell you must be having a girl since you are carrying her all in the front.
Best Response: The penis I saw on my last ultrasound makes me think otherwise...

Stupid Person: You know what they say, girls steal their mother's beauty.
Best Response: How many girls do you have??

Stupid Person: How much weight HAVE you gained??
Response: at least 20lbs, what about you?

Stupid Person: I think you're going to have that baby early. You are way too big to be walking around! You're probably going to need a C-section.

Response: Had no idea you were an OB Dr! Where is your office at? I'll see if I can switch!

Stupid Person: Don't worry, you'll lose all the baby weight if you breastfeed.
Response: I bet you wish you'd breastfed, huh?

Stupid Person: You really are eating for two.
Best Response: But I'm not pregnant!

Stupid Person: Is your husband a big guy?
Best Response: I'm a lesbian

Stupid Person: You must have wicked stretch marks.
Best Response: We can compare if you'd like. 

Stupid Person: Do you plan on breastfeeding or bottle feeding?
Best Response: Why are you offering to help?

Stupid Person: Are you sure that your due date is correct? You look like you're going to have this baby tomorrow.
Best Response: I've been thinking that too! I should probably sue my Dr. for just pulling numbers out of thin air!

Stupid person rubs belly in an attempt to "feel the baby"
Best Response: Yell, "My turn!" I proceed to rub there's!

Stupid Person: When I was pregnant I didn't get lazy like you. I continued working and was on my feet all day until the end and it was no big deal.
Best Response: I know it looks like I'm being lazy while I take a 5 minute sit break because my ankles are so swollen, but the truth is yesterday I did a triathlon while pregnant and managed to cure cancer, so I'm just resting for a second from being an awesome super-hero and pregnant at the same time.

Why you gotta be so rude??

This morning I was scrolling facebook while drinking my morning cup of coffee and I stumbled onto a status from a friend that happens to be currently pregnant with her first child. She vaguely vented about some of the not so pleasant experiences of being pregnant. At that point, the only two comments left for her were a couple of (I'm sure meant to be well-meaning) posts about how "it only gets worse!" I decided to try and be a little more encouraging since I've so recently been where she is. It left me wondering why people have to be so insensitive to others. I'm sure these friends and family don't mean to come off as insensitive to her situation, but it doesn't change the fact that they are and the words they say do way more harm than good.

Shortly after that it was time for me to bring my two oldest children to school. I had a very busy day planned out today and needed to get going. We loaded up like any other Monday and made it about a mile from my oldest daughter's school when my car decided to quit working. Luckily I managed to pull it into a small empty parking lot. I got all the children out and loaded the baby into his stroller. Even though it was a very wet and windy morning we started walking. My kids were real troopers as we walked along the side of this very busy state highway. The girls walked into the soft and squishy wet grass holding on to the baby's stroller as I pushed.

A woman whose children go to the same school as mine saw me walking and pulled off to see if we needed some help. While she did this the impatient man behind her pressed hard against his horn with one hand and making obscene gestures with his other hand. I thanked her for her offer, but at this point I was half way to school from my car. I had no car seat with me for the baby, and my oldest was already going to be late. I did, however, think it ironic that the man behind her was so... so... insensitive!

My husband came to pick me up and managed to get the car roughly running enough to drive it home. The baby and I followed behind in our other car. He had his hazard lights on and was driving pretty slowly trying not to make the car worse than it already was. A man behind me honked vigorously for 0.2 miles until he was able to turn down whatever road he was trying to get to.

When I did finally make it home I checked my facebook again. Another post on my friends status letting her know "It only gets worse!!" I'm sure the man who posted it had a small smirk on his face as he talked about some "no-sleep-zone" she was now going to be living in.  I decided not to let this one slide. I made my comment about how hearing "it only gets worse" may not be the best advice to give to a stressed out, sleep deprived, hormonal, and extremely emotional pregnant woman at this point in time. The response I got was basically that this person (A man whom I've sure has never been pregnant) knows my friend very well and doesn't want to sugar coat the truth... Despite his well-meaning, well thought out ideas it was still in my opinion an insensitive comment.

When someone is going through a hard time you don't say "sucks for you! It only gets worse!"

When someone needs to pull off the road weather to be nice and see if someone needs a lift or because they have a flat tire it's incredibly insensitive to honk or shout obscene things at them because you are having a bad day.

When someone is clearly driving cautiously with hazard lights on because there is a problem with them or their car honking and getting impatient will not fix anything it certainly won't magically make their car work right...

Stop being so rude! We are all human too!