Speed Watercolor Portrait of John

Best responses to some of the stupid things people say to pregnant women.

I have a two-month-old baby boy. He's my third baby, so I know a little bit about the woes of pregnancy. I've heard some people enjoy being pregnant. Personally I wasn't too fond of it. Not only  was I a hormonal, sleep deprived, exhausted, uncomfortable emotional wreck, some people just did and said things that were completely insensitive and unnecisary! Luckily I've got some of the best responses to some of the things people liked to do and say...

Stupid person: Better sleep while you can! You'll never get any sleep once that baby gets here.
Best Response: Good idea! Think my boss will let me leave work early so I can get a nap?

Stupid person: Are you sure there's only one in there?
Best Response: Actually, I'm having 8. I'm trying to get TLC to hook me up with my own reality show.

Stupid Person: You're so lucky that you can eat anything you want when you're pregnant.
Best Response: I know, right?!? I don't even have to force myself to throw it up later! The baby will make sure I throw it up in the morning!

Stupid Person: Looks like your having a really big baby!
Best Response: Well, they say obesity starts when they are young.

Stupid Person: I can tell you must be having a girl since you are carrying her all in the front.
Best Response: The penis I saw on my last ultrasound makes me think otherwise...

Stupid Person: You know what they say, girls steal their mother's beauty.
Best Response: How many girls do you have??

Stupid Person: How much weight HAVE you gained??
Response: at least 20lbs, what about you?

Stupid Person: I think you're going to have that baby early. You are way too big to be walking around! You're probably going to need a C-section.

Response: Had no idea you were an OB Dr! Where is your office at? I'll see if I can switch!

Stupid Person: Don't worry, you'll lose all the baby weight if you breastfeed.
Response: I bet you wish you'd breastfed, huh?

Stupid Person: You really are eating for two.
Best Response: But I'm not pregnant!

Stupid Person: Is your husband a big guy?
Best Response: I'm a lesbian

Stupid Person: You must have wicked stretch marks.
Best Response: We can compare if you'd like. 

Stupid Person: Do you plan on breastfeeding or bottle feeding?
Best Response: Why are you offering to help?

Stupid Person: Are you sure that your due date is correct? You look like you're going to have this baby tomorrow.
Best Response: I've been thinking that too! I should probably sue my Dr. for just pulling numbers out of thin air!

Stupid person rubs belly in an attempt to "feel the baby"
Best Response: Yell, "My turn!" I proceed to rub there's!

Stupid Person: When I was pregnant I didn't get lazy like you. I continued working and was on my feet all day until the end and it was no big deal.
Best Response: I know it looks like I'm being lazy while I take a 5 minute sit break because my ankles are so swollen, but the truth is yesterday I did a triathlon while pregnant and managed to cure cancer, so I'm just resting for a second from being an awesome super-hero and pregnant at the same time.

Why you gotta be so rude??

This morning I was scrolling facebook while drinking my morning cup of coffee and I stumbled onto a status from a friend that happens to be currently pregnant with her first child. She vaguely vented about some of the not so pleasant experiences of being pregnant. At that point, the only two comments left for her were a couple of (I'm sure meant to be well-meaning) posts about how "it only gets worse!" I decided to try and be a little more encouraging since I've so recently been where she is. It left me wondering why people have to be so insensitive to others. I'm sure these friends and family don't mean to come off as insensitive to her situation, but it doesn't change the fact that they are and the words they say do way more harm than good.

Shortly after that it was time for me to bring my two oldest children to school. I had a very busy day planned out today and needed to get going. We loaded up like any other Monday and made it about a mile from my oldest daughter's school when my car decided to quit working. Luckily I managed to pull it into a small empty parking lot. I got all the children out and loaded the baby into his stroller. Even though it was a very wet and windy morning we started walking. My kids were real troopers as we walked along the side of this very busy state highway. The girls walked into the soft and squishy wet grass holding on to the baby's stroller as I pushed.

A woman whose children go to the same school as mine saw me walking and pulled off to see if we needed some help. While she did this the impatient man behind her pressed hard against his horn with one hand and making obscene gestures with his other hand. I thanked her for her offer, but at this point I was half way to school from my car. I had no car seat with me for the baby, and my oldest was already going to be late. I did, however, think it ironic that the man behind her was so... so... insensitive!

My husband came to pick me up and managed to get the car roughly running enough to drive it home. The baby and I followed behind in our other car. He had his hazard lights on and was driving pretty slowly trying not to make the car worse than it already was. A man behind me honked vigorously for 0.2 miles until he was able to turn down whatever road he was trying to get to.

When I did finally make it home I checked my facebook again. Another post on my friends status letting her know "It only gets worse!!" I'm sure the man who posted it had a small smirk on his face as he talked about some "no-sleep-zone" she was now going to be living in.  I decided not to let this one slide. I made my comment about how hearing "it only gets worse" may not be the best advice to give to a stressed out, sleep deprived, hormonal, and extremely emotional pregnant woman at this point in time. The response I got was basically that this person (A man whom I've sure has never been pregnant) knows my friend very well and doesn't want to sugar coat the truth... Despite his well-meaning, well thought out ideas it was still in my opinion an insensitive comment.

When someone is going through a hard time you don't say "sucks for you! It only gets worse!"

When someone needs to pull off the road weather to be nice and see if someone needs a lift or because they have a flat tire it's incredibly insensitive to honk or shout obscene things at them because you are having a bad day.

When someone is clearly driving cautiously with hazard lights on because there is a problem with them or their car honking and getting impatient will not fix anything it certainly won't magically make their car work right...

Stop being so rude! We are all human too! 

Elliemay

Ursula

Frekles

The tough decisions...

In the summer of 2014 my husband and I both lost our jobs. It was a very difficult time for us finacially. We both worked several part-time/low paying jobs and went through all of our savings just to get by.

I had to close my art studio and bring all my supplies home. As I was putting my supplies away in my

attic, I remembered some advice I'd gotten from a missionary I once knew named Fred Bennet. Fred use to tell my highschool friends and I stories of all his adventures around the world and we thought he was the coolest person on the planet. I couldn't tell you what countries he's been to or what languages he knew, but I can remember the most important thing he ever said. "If you find yourself in a place where you don't know what to do or where to go next, be a missionary. Be a volunteer somewhere. Take what resources and talents you have and bless someone with them and you'll be amazed at what doors will open for you." Remembering those words made me realize what a waste it was to have my art supplies in the attic. I decided to take my supplies and offer free art classes at our local library. It was a huge hit until I ran out of supplies, but it helped me get a job teaching art at a local private school. I also became an assistant teacher there.

Meanwhile, my husband got a great job himself. We still weren't making the same amount of money we made before losing our previous jobs, but we were both happy and our working hours were much better. Everything was going perfect for us. Things were picking up and looking better.

At the end of last year we found out I was pregnant again. It was a nice surprise, but still a surprise. Dispite that things stayed the same.

The Captain made his entrance into the world on the evening of August 22. At the time I thought the 2015-16 school year would be no different than the previous year. A month after he was born I started working at my school again, but this time I didn't work near as much. The school didn't have as many kids and didn't need me as much. Finding childcare the few hours I do work as been a bigger struggle than not. He smiled for the first time a couple weeks ago. I was lucky enough to be home to see it, most likely because I don't work that many hours.

When I think about it I was home for the first year of both my girls lives. Leaving my little boy even with people I trust is hard. It's not that I think he's in danger or not safe without me. What I worry about is all the things I'll miss out on. I don't want to miss seeing him grow. I don't want to miss any smiles. I want to hear his first giggle and see his first steps.

Abigail is doing fantastic in preschool. I really love her school. (Shout out of Discovery Time!) Angel, however, is really struggling with 3rd grade. As most of you know it took Angel two years to finish 1st grade (I don't like to say she was held back or failed, but instead that it took her longer to complete the grade) and I'd rather it not take her two years to complete another grade.

Each afternoon as I help her learn her multiplication facts and spelling words, I think about how well she does with me one on one. Yesturday we were in the baby's room. I was using a program on the computer that would give a multiplication fact. I'd call out the problem and Angel would shout the answer as I typed it in. We did this for almost an hour until she could spit her facts out in less than 5 seconds from her 0s to her 6s. There were moments that she walked circles around the room or crawled around on all fours. At one point she rolled herself up like a pretzle and rolled around on the floor while still managing to spit out the answers. She used silly voices sometimes or sang the answers. She danced around the room and seemed to have fun practicing these facts. We actually had a lot of fun working on her math. It made me wish we had more time. There just isn't enough time each afternoon for me to help her with her school work the way I'd like to.

I've thought of homeschooling Angel since I first put her in school 6 years ago. Thinking about the financial strain it would put on our family as always put the idea in the back of my mind.

Many of the kids I work with at my school are just as imporant to me as my own kids. I love my job so much, but I love my kids more. Two of them really need me to be at home right now. I absolutly don't want to give up such a good thing. I know I'm making a difference there, and I can't stress enough how much I love what I do. The idea of leaving the school I work for makes me sick to my stomach to think about. The idea of missing my boy's first words and watching Angel struggle with school to the point of real tears coming from her eyes makes me even sicker.

The struggle is very real and very hard. Trying to make the best decisions in life are very difficult... No one wants to look back and say "Yeah.. I really messed that one up.." Especially when it comes to kids... This includes my own children and the students I teach...

So what's the answer? What's the conclusion? I'll post that as soon as I know!

Let's Get Real...

I recently read a blog that pretty much said so many things that I've always wanted to say, but have been too afraid to say. She talked about how the barista at starbucks assumed she had it all together when she really didn't. Then vice versa that barista at starbucks seemed to not have too bad of a life either, but that coffee customer would never know. As a former starbucks barista I can tell you most of them are really good at putting on a smile while they make your coffee. It's what they are trained to do, even if on the inside they are dying.

Most of my blogs are about my kids or my art. Very rarely are they about me. The things I usually let people see are the pictures and videos of my and my happy children making art projects, but what people don't know is that before the pictures are taken I move all the clutter out of the way so you think my house is clean.

Every morning when I wake up I put on my mask so that no one sees what I'm really feeling or thinking. I think most of us wear a similar mask. It feels easier to hide the clutter. I've always wanted to take it off for a second for others to see..

I put my mask on so my 9 year old daughter doesn't know that I constantly worry about saying or doing the wrong thing. I know she's sensitive. I was a sensitive little girl too and I remember so much about what my parents said and did that I'm sure they don't realize I remember. I don't want her to know how much I worry about her when she's not with me. I worry about what others will do or say to upset her while I'm not there to make it better. I worry about who her friends are and what she's exposed to. She's so innocent and I want to keep her that way as long as possible.

There is the mask that my 5 year old sees. She thinks I don't want her to crawl into bed with me when really I want to hold her so tight and never let her go. I don't want her to see how tired I really am when I take her to the park when I'd rather take a nap.

I don't want them to know that I pretty much always feel like I'm not a good enough mother to them. When I forget I told them we'd do art today or bake cookies yesterday.

I put on a mask that says I'd rather go to work than stay home with my newborn baby. The truth is I want to be the one to hold him and love on him, but knowing we need the money more really hurts. It hurts to have to tell him bye when I leave and I think about him constantly while I'm gone. Don't get me wrong, I love a break! but all I want is a break. All I want is to leave him with someone when I want to and not because I have to.

I put on a mask so that my dad doesn't see the things that I struggle with. My dad is the type of guy that would do anything for his children and grandchildren and I don't want him to fix this for me.

I pretend to be a confident artist when I'm really not at all!

I'm always worried about what other people think.

I don't think I'm good at cleaning so I just try to avoid it.

I don't like brushing/fixing my hair which is why I keep it short.

I don't like all of my kids friends!

I always worried that one day my husband will see me as not good enough, and I'm always relieved each anniversary when I realize he still thinks I am. (My husband is freaking amazing, by the way!)

I hate when I have to ask my parents for help so I try so hard no to.

I always feel like I care more about everyone else than they do about me and it hurts to think about such things.

I constantly put others needs before my own and that makes life tough!

I delete my blogs all the time because I worry about what people will think about them!

I feel very alone. Even in a room full of people I still feel so incredibly alone, but I don't let anyone know it.

I'm constantly seeking reassurance that I am a good artist, mother, wife, daughter, teacher, and friend.

It's just easier to let people see the mask I put on as confident artist, mother, wife, daughter, and teacher.

I've struggled with putting the out there wondering what people might think, or what my dad might think. I think people my think "I've been there too!" I think my dad will see that I'm no different than he is and that I struggle with a lot of the same things he does and that I've grown up to be just as amazing as he is. 

Another Watercolor Portrait

How to Draw a Fish

Start with a football shape, but don't connect the ends.

Next add the back fin to the right side of the football shape. You'll draw a sideways flat V and connect the ends with a squiggly line.

Followed by the top and bottom fins. The top fin looks like a wave and the bottom fin is a curvy cone shape.

Next add a sideways raindrop to the left side and a circle for the eye. 

Now you'll add the top lip. For the eye add a small circle towards the top and another circle "behind" that. 

Fill in the center of the eye. Make sure you leave the small circle you made white. That's going to be the light reflecting in the eye. You'll also add a horn shape to the midde of the fish. 

Add a few lines to the fins to give them texture, and draw a curved line by the face.

Now you can start on the scales. Simply add some half cirlcles by the face. 

 For the next row you'll add more half circles like this.

 Keep going! Try to make your half circles a little smaller as you move along your fish.

It's ok if they aren't perfect! Fish don't have perfect looking scales! 

Almost done! This part can take a really long time!

Draw your scales from the face all the way to the back fin. 

Now add some squiggly shapes on either side. Don't draw these lines over your fish. We want the fish to look like it's in front!

And that's it! If you don't like how your fish turned out just try again. You can also print this one out and color it!

My First Ever Watercolor Portrait!

Current Project

Since the girls are in school this week I've had a little bit of free time. Here is a picture I've been working on the past couple of days and the process of making it.

Raising Good Employees

In the summer of 2014 my husband and I both lost our jobs within just a few weeks of each other. We very quickly stopped all our spending and used our savings on only necessary bills. We worked at jobs we didn't necessarily like that didn't pay what we were use to in order to keep some sort of income coming in.

Stories like this are all too common, but one thing you usually hear about when these things happen to families is "Our kids didn't know how little money we had. We wanted to protect them." For my husband and I my kids DID know how little money we had! We wanted to protect them!

I hear adults admit that as a child they didn't really know how poor they were, but yet still found happiness in life. When I was a child I had an idea of how poor our family was, but yet still found happiness in life... and a much greater appreciation for everything I had/have.

When I worked as a manager I watched a new generation of employees step into the working class with a sense of entitlement. These kids wanted a pat on the back for doing a good job everytime they did a good job. My parents always taught me that you earned your paycheck by doing a good job and a pat on the back only came when you went above and beyond the job expected.

My goal is to teach my kids this same work ethic which isn't the easiest thing to do in the world we are living in right now. Sports programs give kids the same size trophy no matter how hard each of the kids played. Imagine if everyone got the same participation bonus at work even if some worked harder than others? "Good job for showing up to work today! Here is an extra $100!". Schools give kids awards for "almost" making it. Every year I watch Angel's award ceremony at school and one of the things she gets recognized for is "almost making perfect attendance". I don't hang those awards up on the fridge. (I do however frame her awards for getting As and Bs for the whole year!) How would you feel if you hired a lawyer whose office was full of plaques that said "I almost won that case!". I don't want my kids to think that "almost" is good enough or that simply showing up to something is worth the same as doing your best while you are there.

If you see us walking around the store you'll notice both my girls carrying a purse full of change. It's change that they've earned for times when I felt they went above and beyond the job expected for their age. When they spend the money in their purses they do it with pride and tend to take better care of the things they bought with the money they earned. My girls are only nine and four years old and already appreciate hard earned money. Imagine what kind of employees they will be one day.

It's not just about teaching kids to feel good about themselves, but teaching them to feel good about the things that they do. 

Sorry I've been gone...

It's been almost three years since I've written a blog. Sorry about that! I'd like to think that my life has just been way too boring to have anything to write about, but that's not the case at all. It's really been the opposite.

The truth is that I started working real jobs because we needed the money. While working those real jobs there were many times I wanted to write a blog, and I certainly had plenty to say! (Just ask any of my friends!) I was just way too busy, and while writing out my thoughts is important I saw taking care of my family and making sure I got plenty of sleep as more important.

I'm finally at a peaceful place where writing about what's happening in my world is doable. At least for now... So we'll see how it goes!

Meanwhile, here is an update on our lives:

Angel is 9 years old and Abigail is 4. Abigail is still fairly wild and Angel is still the calm one. We have 2 dogs

now. Tank is a chihuahua and belongs to Angel. Rosie is a pit bull/lab mix and belongs to Abigail. The girls are going to have a new baby brother sometime at the end of this summer. Angel is super excited! Abigail is getting there... as long as she gets a remote control car out of the deal.

Cory finally works a normal 9-5 kind of job with weekends off! I am still making and teaching art, and I too am trying to keep it normal with weekends off.

There is a lot more that has happened in the past three years, and maybe some of my blogs will flashback to it a little. For now though.. This has been an update. Hopefully more blogs will come soon!